Hello once again all friends, fans, foes and followers. Pat McClannahan here and for once I DON’T have to say, “I’m lucky to be alive.” I’m currently in the great colosseum of Rome sitting on the south side taking in the warm sun with some hot wolf’s nipple chips, ocelot spleens and two dromedary pretzels. Only half a diner apiece! and some good Tuscan wine in a glass to wash it all down. Ole Pat would really love his Bushmills nerve medicine but “When in Rome….”
The games began with a bestiary. Six gladiators against six animals. A lion and a bear began the fight against each other giving Marc enough time to close in with his sword, only to have the lion run away and the bear tear his guts out! An elephant was running about with everyone getting a lick in, but Shane put it down with a single ax blow to the head. Carol was amazing! Killing the lion, a tiger and a minotaur. Craig, fighting only with a net and a trident took out a lioness and an armored war dog.
This brought us to noon which executions were featured. It was Christians vs. Lions. Final score. Lions 20, Christians 0. It was pretty brutal folks, nearly put me off my lunch of badger noses.
Having secured a plate of Tuscany fried bat, which is really delicious, I settled down to watch the main event. Gladiator on Gladiator! But the guy next to me suddenly tore off his clothes and jumped into the arena with “Romani ite domum” painted across his chest and back in bright red! He began streaking about the arena to boos from the crowd until a quick thinking guard brought him down with a swift kick to the groin. That got the crowd cheering!
Five gladiators came out the gates and set to in a bloody melee in the center. Sparks were flying as weapons hit armor and shields! Craig stood on the edge with his net just dodging in and out, striking with great adroitness only to leap back. The first contest ended with him getting two kills and the other two gladiators begging for mercy which the crowd granted.
The next combat featured two heavily armored gladiators bashing away at each other, sprinkling the sand red, each just weakening the other, while two net and trident fighters dueled each other. Craig once more was good with his net and finished his opponent with a couple of stabs to the guts. One of the heavily armored fighters fell and begged for mercy, which was granted. Craig threw his net over the advancing gladiator, only to have him throw it aside. Craig tried to get away only to have the heavily armored gladiator all but take his arm off! He was forced to beg for mercy and being a crowd favorite, he was allowed to live.
I settled down with some jaguars earlobes for the last match. A pair of female fighters, one with a pair of swords, the other with a net and trident came out to fight a pair of net and trident fighters. The one woman turned on the other! The girl with the net tangled her opponent and a quick blow to the skull ended the matter but no sooner was that done when the girl was attacked by one of the net and trident men. Although neither opponent got snagged, a few quick attacks ending with a stab to the chest killed the female fighter. Craig netted Marc and began to wound him over and over and over. Marc could not escape the net no matter how hard he tried! At last he begged for his life, which was granted.
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